Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Life in May: Day Twenty Two

*Blogging everyday in May*
Rant about something.
YES!! I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time, but I’m always afraid one of my parents will find it and get angry. But nothing is holding me back today!
To future employers: I love my job, I love all my students and their families. Everyone has stuff to get off their chest!
To my previous families who may find this: No, this is not directed at you! I promise!

-I’m not an idiot.-
I went to school college for four years, had to spend over 100 hours in the classroom before I could even student teach, student taught for 16 weeks, annnnd I need to complete 18 hours of continuing education every year.  Not forgetting that I spend 180 days a year with kids. So yeah, when I tell you your child is right where he needs to be, I know what I’m talking about.

-Yes, your kid would do that and probably did do that.-
The kid that you see at home is not the same student who spends over seven hours a day with the same kids who are the same age. It’s like a pressure cooker, everyone needs to let off a little steam. Children react differently to new situations. Trust me. I’ve heard all the excuses. And no, low blood sugar isn’t the cause of Suzy’s problems.

-Your child is not a genius.-
I know, I know he’s reading at home. I’m not pushing him enough. He’s bored. Heard ‘em all. I’m sure Jonnie is bright, I can see that, but pushing him will not help. Kids, especially young ones, have a tendency to level out. The child who is ahead in September may plateau in February. It’s ok, and totally normal. Did you hear me?? Your kid is normal.

-I love your child, but she’s not my whole world.-
Don’t get me wrong, I will celebrate Sally, hang up her artwork by my desk, and hug her every day. But when the day is done, I go home to my house and have my life.Trust me, I will love your child long after she’s left my room.  I also have to consider 15-20 other students and their feelings. Your child is not the only child in my class.

-If you (or your child) are having a problem please talk to me.-
Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a mind reader. If something is wrong, I want you to talk to me. If you’re uncomfortable, email is fine. And I beg of you, don’t come to me in the morning and say “can we talk tomorrow?” and not give me any warning of the topic. I will freak out all night long, guaranteed.

-I love your child.-
Each child is loved by me more than you know. When teacher appreciation week comes around, please let me know how you feel about me. I don’t need anything. A note from you and a drawing by your child is perfect.  I have a folder of cards and notes from every class. I’ll read them on the day you will inevitably yell at me.

-I don’t need another candle/lotion pack/bookmark/mug.-
Funny Teacher Week Ecard: Happy (let's re-gift this awful smelling hand lotion to the) Teacher Appreciation Week!

Funny Teacher Week Ecard: No, son, your teacher doesn't want a handmade crayon wreath someone posted on Pinterest. She wants a gift card to a place with happy hour.
Funny Teacher Week Ecard: Thank you for letting me know that my teaching needs improvement. Said no teacher ever.


Ashley said...

I have lots of teacher friends and I've heard these things out of every one of them! I especially like the "your kid is different here" comment. I worked at a daycare with toddlers. 10 of them, to be exact. And there was this one little monster who liked to bite and pull hair. Like a ponytail's worth of hair (not even that big of an exaggeration). So you show the parents said tuft of hair and they say, "She's never done that at home!"

Duh. She's an only child. She may be an angel for you, but you treating her as such makes her a demon for me.

Claire said...

Super love this! Im a teacher too and this is exactly how I feel! I wantf to rant about this but chickened out. My school might consider it inappropriate. Lots of spies reading my blog.

Olivia said...

Bahahahaha! I'm dying laughing. I'm a former teacher (3rd grade) turned stay-at-home-mom now. And these things are so true. I especially like the last three points. I found your blog through the May Challenge. Thanks for sharing! So funny.

Brooke said...

This is soooo well said! I love this, and think it should go home with every child at the beginning of each year! Kudos!

Emily Hornburg said...

Ditto to most of these! They apply to youth ministers too!

Casey said...


Christina @ The Murrayed Life said...

These ecards are so perfect. And while I'm not to this stage yet, I will tuck these nuggets away in the bank. Not that that EVER would have been me though, I'm sure. Never.

Aleshea said...

Yes ma'am, yes ma'am

I work with kids and I can't stand when parents don't believe you or wanna acted shocked that their child did something.

Melanie said...

From teacher to teacher -- love it. I found your blog through the blog hop.